Captivating and incredibly loved

This is my occasional diary.

Figured the real updates I have are those at heart but while I still love a write and have the time, I do it.

It has been clear to me how I'm wiggling my toes in bubbles again. I am so happy.

Nothing hits the spot like Jesus does, how He continually romances me, loves me and keeps me till I know not of all that is around me. I am more and more unaware of the things going on around me and I deem it good.

This proves, as if proof were needed, how really blessed I am.

It is in the waiting that my heart is enlarged.
God is setting me up for something more valuable than my happiness, more substantial than my health. Restoring and growing in me an eternal weight of glory.

The experience of hurt and sorrow did not diminish the joy of being more alive to Him and to be called to live in His true beauty. Having gone through what I did for the past month, I am only glad I stuck around; refusing to numb my pain in the myriad of ways available.

Even when I asked everyone else to leave, even when I wanted to leave, God is there.

My heart is truely deepened and this is only the beginning.
Can you imagine? As He moulds me to become the woman of substance, who offers true beauty, my heart is growing in my capacity to love and be loved, to desire, to live.

I am in a privileged position. I will keep smiling. And I will keep singing.

I am well and from my bubbling champagney heart, I can only be.
As I rejoice before actually seeing the manifestations of the healing of my face, of the beliving and confessing, He gripped me to His love.
He has yet again proved Himself faithful as my soul rests, turning to Him. He saves again and again and again.

Isaiah 58:8-9
Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call and the Lord will answer;
You shall cry and He will say, "Here I am."

My miracle as I woke up the next morning, light broke forth like the morning indeed as I was significantly more well than I ever was for Friday. And while the friends had an awesome time and a laugh at the expense of me, what some may call a "snail" or "unwanted pancake", I know I am well loved.

(Also) His inviting love (yet again) knocked on my door when Nic offered to send my application in for the serving in the photography ministry for me. Without getting off my butt to do it myself.

So.
How do you not swell at such love? His inviting love which quietens me. I love it.

It's 2am in the morning and I ought to hit the sack. I'm stocked up, in socks but before I snoooze, I (superbly excited!) should really tell you what I did today.

I over-shopped myself with char and shas. We had a sport-shopping frenzy which consisted of an over-indulgent purchase of adidas tops and although forcibly restrained from buying a cute pair of tennis shoes (PINK SOLES!), I still did.

I am now trying to psycho shas to buy it too. The responses however, only hover between, "I feel my chubby ankles." and "Let me think about it."

Not exactly favourable.

I'm humbled by Your grace Lord

I had an awesome Valentine's Day.

And really, how things have changed.
You perfect all that concerns me Lord, and You are, because You are all I've got.

Exercise Wisdom

I think I will be changing to see a western doctor.

How can this go on for 3 weeks and still not healing?



You are my wholeness Lord.

Oh my!

Yummy would be an understatement. Bomb bomb bomb.

I'm playing Scrabble again!
A very good thing :)

My sense of humor is still in tact. Thank You Lord.

You know, I love Jay Chou's songs. But it wasnt until yesterday that I realised whoah, this song's pretty decent, I like it.
Until JL told me, he listens to it all the time in his car, and my sister? She actually started listening to it LAST YEAR and can sing to the entire song (in perfect mandarin and perfect dont-forget-the-lyrics).

So I am the slow.

I love the weather today, perfect, makes one very cheery and lighthearted. More satisfying than the horror of realising I really have to skip tennis today. I've learnt to be less ignorant and to take good care of myself.

God perfects my family. Guess what Mom and sis told me over lunch? That once I get all well, they will hold a feast for celebration. Which reminds me why porridge (no marmite, cannot eat marmite) and tasteless vegetarian meat still taste so yummy. Because of love.

Is my face still swollen? Yes.. eyes much better but it has since, migrated to my checks as well, proving a challenge to even finish food.
Haha. Discussion with my sister whether it's worst not being able to see, or not being able to eat, we both chose the latter. Sight is the precious...... although thankfully all that I am seeing is not going to happen permanently. Hallelujah.
Goes to show how important every part of our God-given organ is.

I am growing roots, stronger spritually and to be this close to God, I know I am rising like never before : )))

Friends are supposed to come over on Friday because I managed to borrow Guitar Heroes from my cousin who got so oh-sick of World Tour. I cannot help but add that when I was 11 and really into roller blading, I borrowed a pair from him and never did return it since.
The pair of blades became mine.

Sets one thinking the kind of inconsiderate schmuck in me, I better return this on time.
But hopefully also, when I get really sick of it (!!!)

So speaking of Friday and pals who also want to mj, I am thinking of doing a postpone with my current horrific state.

No, I'm not comfortable meeting them.
I dont even check out my reflection at the mirror anymore.

I do unknowingly catch the reflect from my laptop (when it is black and the LCD I have to stare)and I scare myself(!!)
But then I look so funny, I cannot help but laugh.

I do not even look like myself.

Maxwell Hum Chim Peng?
Ya, very close to that. I have no answer however, to whether I'm a salty or a sweet one.

My life is good.

Sunday I took 2 times Holy Comm.
I woke up yesterday with a swollen face. Sunken in eyes and puffed up eyelids.

Yesterday I took 3 times Holy Comm.
I woke up today, more swollen than ever - my eyes like slits. I can barely see. I amaze myself with this blog entry.

But I know, I well know my hundredfold is coming, I am bearing fruit with patience.
And say, the devil's work I know, so loud and right in me face. It may have frightened me the first few times but as yet, I am getting so bored with his predictable moves.

Because,

Psalm 23: 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.



Yesterday I sobbed like mad, sobbed not because I feel a massive and increasing discomfort on my face (although it is a terrible misery) but hurt and pain to see my mom curled up with heartache to see me feeling so terrible (the sight of the swollen face did not help I'm sure.)

But I am not scared. And although I gave in to crying, that made my eyes more swollen than ever, I know my God is my deliverer and manifestion of healing is occuring in my body.

I will be up and well :)