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I'm beginning to behave like a perfectionist - the best love, the best gifts..
I think I am a perfectionist. Or maybe OCP - Obsessive-Compulsive Personality.

And maybe, some people dont deserve my perfection HEEHEE

It was the most passionate, most fun, most weird night, yet I fear it's not remedy for me. It feels very right and very omg when I woke up this morning and omg at home and omg I hope this means I have moved on already. Like Super Fast. Let's hope it is. But it is also a feeling of scared. But then if I am scared and it all happens, I would know what is true.

I stay away; am mostly indoors at home. Dont need so many fake friends. Just a handful best friends to keep me in tact. So thankful I am if you dont ask me why am I at home. Because it is a luxury sometimes. If I dont go to church, pray for me. I am speaking to Daddy all the time but still pray that I will go to church. That it will excite me again. Oh great! Church camp coming YAY!


On another note, I will be having the second interview tomorrow at 12:30pm. It's 3:30am now, I'm not one bit tired. Thank you Jesus I will wake up at 10:00am to decide what to wear, You bless my interview and the things to sayyy, also minus eyebags and a cheek zit Amen.
Whoo hooo Daddy, give me the accomplishment!

Give me red red roses. I miss flowers! I miss cooking instant noodles with the egg without MSG, that I used to cook for everyone, until I stopped and ate outside.
That is where my money is spent now.
Sashimi sashimi sashimi.

Btw, the song I KISSED A GIRL by katy perry, is pretty hitting it up - Interesting in a I Like It kinda way. But you know, I think it's cute and sometimes I like to change my MSN nick for a day "I kissed a girl" or if I am crazy sad "I am crazy sad" but you get 11 people who ping you to ask if you're okay. And good grief Why cant I be upset? Why cant I want to kiss a girl sometimes, or write out a line of lyrics for pete's sake!!
I also try not to fall into the fear of being judged and asked. Church people sign in and I have to change my nick? NO WAY................. If I write Jesus I love You for them, then it is not for Jesus (and myself for that matter)SO.. to hell with pleasing humans..

I cant wait to start on film, and on the new dslr very soon.
Thankyou L, for your text msg - for being excited for me. I am too, very much! It seems like you have been sick for awhile. Rest rest ..

Oh, getting back to reality, I need to rest too. I am really tired now. I miss hugging. Maybe I need a hot WOMAN.





"I TYPE WHAT I LIKE"

X,
Mxx