Whao. Because whao does not mean wow in any sense, you'd have guessed my threshold for work has been greatly, greatly reduced. To zero, I think today.
I let everyone leave the office by 7pm and myself stay back; either because I have not finished my work or work never ends. Yes, these two complement each other.
I let go and cried on my notebook. I kept crying. Pouring my heart to Jesus.
Why is my work so unfulfilling yet taxing?
Why am I tasked to do everything (Legal to HR to Finance to Data Entry)?
Why does it seem like my boss is killing me very softly?
Spending time doing things I don't enjoy is starting to make less and less sense.
I look at her emails and remind myself she is bread for me.
But even that thought didn't digest. Eating her would be terribly undelicious (insert laugh?)
I dried my tears, contemplated skipping tennis for the 3rd time but went anyway.
The journey there made great by my Lord Jesus, who asked me again, "Do you trust Me? Do you know I love you?"
I returned Him myself and the urge to take flight.
Jesus took over.
At 10:16pm I received an email (from her). Generously polite and unfrightening.
Jesus forced her to send it to me. Haha
I did not have the best tennis game. But I had the best love / comfort / help I ever wanted - JESUS.
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